CHAPTER 8

Losses and Endings

Communication Skills at End of Life

Elizabeth C. Arnold

Objectives

At the end of the chapter, the reader will be able to:

Describe the concept of loss.

Describe the stages of death and dying.

Discuss the concept of palliative care.

Discuss theory-based concepts of grief and grieving

Define grief and describe common patterns of grieving.

Describe the nurse’s role in palliative care.

Discuss key issues and approaches in end-of-life (EOL) care.

Identify cultural and spiritual needs in EOL care.

Describe supportive strategies for children.

10 Discuss strategies to help clients achieve a good death.

11 Identify stress issues for nurses in EOL care.

This chapter examines the nurse-client relationship in the context of palliative and EOL care. The chapter identifies theory frameworks related to the stages of dying and the process of grief and grieving. The Application section discusses the process of identifying and responding to client and family needs in EOL care. This chapter spotlights the communication issues in the care nurses provide to dying clients and as they meet the needs of grieving families. Helping clinicians recognize and cope with the high stress of providing quality EOL care is also addressed.

Basic concepts

The concept of loss

Corless (2001) defines loss as “a generic term that signifies absence of an object, position, ability or attribute” (p. 352). Important losses occur as part of everyone’s personal experience. Anything or anyone in whom we invest time, energy, or a part of ourselves can be experienced as a loss. When people suffer the loss of someone or something important to them, there is a loss of their sense of “wholeness” and a break in the person’s expected life story (Attig, 2004). The loss remains in that person’s mind, even with the passage of time (Levine, 2005). When a fresh loss occurs, previous losses are remembered. Consider the theme of loss in each of the following normal life experiences:

• A wife loses a 35-year-old marriage through divorce

• A cherished family pet dies

• A couple loses their dream home through foreclosure

• A woman suffers a miscarriage

• A parent dies

The feelings associated with loss differ only in the intensity with which one experiences them. Mark Twain noted: “Nothing that grieves us can be called little; by the eternal laws of proportion a child’s loss of a doll and a king’s loss of a crown are events of the same size” (Mark Twain Quotations, 2002). Some losses are unfinished; others occur simultaneously or sequentially.

Multiple losses occurring over a short period intensify the experience. Older adults will experience the deaths of friends and family members with greater frequency. One loss can precipitate multiple losses. For example, the client with Alzheimer’s disease doesn’t simply lose memory. Accompanying cognitive loss are profound losses of role, communication, independence, and loss of identity. Lifestyle changes are required to accommodate for the cognitive loss.

Multiple losses complicate the grieving process and usually take longer to resolve. Helping people focus on one relationship at a time instead of trying to address the losses together is helpful. Acknowledgment of the differences between single and multiple loss helps put the enormity of multiple losses into perspective (Mercer & Evans, 2006). Exercise 8-1 is designed to help you understand the dimensions of personal loss.

EXERCISE 8-1   The Meaning of Loss

Purpose:

To consider personal meaning of losses.

Procedure:

Consider your answers to the following questions:

• What losses have I experienced in my life?

• How did I feel when I lost something or someone important to me?

• How was my behavior affected by my loss?

• What helped me the most in resolving my feelings of loss?

• How has my experience with loss prepared me to deal with further losses?

• How has my experience with loss prepared me to help others deal with loss?

Discussion:

1. In the larger group, discuss what gives a loss its meaning.

2. What common themes emerged from the group discussion about successful strategies in coping with loss?

3. How does the impact of necessary losses differ from that of unexpected, unnecessary losses?

4. How can you use in your clinical work what you have learned from doing this exercise?

Death: the final loss

Death is associated with loss; it signals the end of all that life holds on this earth: successes, failures, relationships, careers, laughter, and pain. More than a biological event, dying has spiritual, social, and cultural features that help people make sense of its meaning. Dobratz (2002) describes a human life pattern in dying patients that is “shaped by self-integration, inner cognition, creation of personal meanings, and connection to others and a higher being” (p. 139).

Silveira and Schneider (2004) suggest that “planning for the end of life is planning for the unknown” (p. 349). Although death is a necessary part of the circle of life, dying is often feared, even if people believe in an afterlife. As Chenitz (1992), a nurse dying of AIDS noted, “Like many people with AIDS, I am not afraid of death. I am afraid of dying. The dying process and how that will be handled is of great concern to me” (p. 454).

When asked, most clients identify fear of pain and of experiencing their last phase of life unaccompanied as their two principal fears (Pashby, 2010). Clients and families need to know that help is always available from someone knowledgeable, who cares about them, and is willing to anticipate and respond to their personal care needs as they appear.

Nurses are not immune from these fears. It is often difficult for nurses to maintain a balance between their own sensitivity to death and well-being, and providing the empathy and support needed by clients and families. This is why self-awareness about death and dying issues is so important in providing palliative care.

Theoretical framework: stages of dying

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1969) provides a five-stage framework for understanding the process of dying. Not every person experiences each stage.

Denial

Kübler-Ross (1969) characterizes denial stage as the “No, not me” stage. Nurses should be sensitive to the client’s need for denial. Some people remain in the denial stage throughout their illness; their right to do so should be respected.

Anger

Kübler-Ross (1969) refers to anger as the “Why me?” stage, associated with feelings about the unfairness of life, or anger with God. Feelings get projected on those closest to the client. The client lashes out at family, friends, and staff members. Those closest to the client may need support in recognizing that the anger is not a personal attack.

Bargaining

Kübler-Ross (1969) refers to the bargaining stage as the “Yes, me, but … I need just a little more time.” The bargaining stage involves pleading for time extension or special consideration. Bargaining is not a futile exercise. Sometimes the extra energy a person gets by trying to postpone death can provide a meaningful moment for client and family; consider the father, wanting to stay alive for his daughter’s wedding. By supporting hope and avoiding challenges to the client’s reality, the nurse facilitates the process of living while dying.

Depression

Kübler-Ross (1969) characterizes the depression stage as the “Yes, me” stage, accompanied by depressive feelings. Mood swings and depressive feelings are hard for families to tolerate, but very common. Nursing strategies in this stage include helping clients to accept depression as being a normal response, and being present to clients and families as an empathetic, listening witness to their experience.

Acceptance

Pashby (2010) notes that the theoretical stages seem to mirror the physiologic decline experienced at the EOL. Clients who are weak and bedridden with declining consciousness as death approaches come more readily to the final stage of acceptance. The acceptance stage is characterized by an acknowledgment of the inevitable EOL. As the client approaches death, there is a gradual detachment from the world, and the person is almost “void of feeling” (Kübler-Ross, 1969, p. 124). Because of this, there can be a sense of peace.

Palliative care

Palliative care is defined as “a clinical approach designed to improve the quality of life for clients and families coping with a life threatening illness” (Davies & Higginson, 2004, p. 14). It is recognized as a philosophy of care and as an emerging practice discipline. The dimensions of palliative care identified by the World Health Organization (WHO) are presented in Box 8-1.

BOX 8-1   Dimensions of Palliative Care

• Provides relief from pain and other distressing symptoms

• Affirms life and regards dying as a normal process

• Intends neither to hasten nor postpone death

• Integrates the psychological and spiritual aspects of patient care

• Offers a support system to help patients live as actively as possible until death

• Offers a support system to help the family cope during the patients illness and in their own bereavement

• Uses a team approach to address the needs of patients and their families, including bereavement counselling, if indicated

• Will enhance quality of life, and may also positively influence the course of illness

• Is applicable early in the course of illness, in conjunction with other therapies that are intended to prolong life, such as chemotherapy or radiation therapy, and includes those investigations needed to better understand and manage distressing clinical complications

From World Health Organization: WHO Definition of Palliative Care, 2008; available online: http://www.who.int/cancer/palliative/definition/en/. Accessed February 28, 2009.

Clients are admitted to palliative care services when the client has a life-limiting disease with care needs that will go beyond traditional modes of medical intervention (Galanos, 2004; Morrison & Meier, 2004). Palliative care is unique in that it includes involved family members and the client with the life-limiting disease as one integrated unit of care. Clients initially admitted to palliative care services may still be receiving active treatment for their disease process to control symptoms and improve quality of life (McIlfatrick, 2007). Palliative care can augment treatment with attention directed to providing the secondary psychosocial, practical, and spiritual support services and assistance people need regarding EOL decisions and care. As the disease or disability progresses, palliative care still supports living while dying, but the focus becomes symptom management and movement toward achieving a good death, rather than active treatment. Table 8-1 identifies proposed quality measures for palliative care in the critically ill.

TABLE 8-1

Quality Measures for Palliative and End-of-Life Care by Domain

image

From Mularski R, Curtis J, Billings J et al: Proposed quality measures for palliative care in the critically ill: a consensus from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation care group, Critical Care Medicine 34(11 suppl):S406, 2006.

Palliative care strategies are designed to help clients and families understand the dying process as a part of life and to assist terminally ill clients to achieve the best quality of life in the time left to them. The basic axiom for palliative EOL care is to follow what clients actually want for themselves (Silveira & Schneider, 2004). Palliative care is dedicated to supporting families as resources and as units of care themselves. After the client’s death, palliative care offers grief support for family members.

Palliative care and hospice are related concepts. A fundamental difference between the two approaches is that the palliative care team can admit and serve patients still receiving curative treatment, with no time restrictions regarding prognosis. Hospice clients must have a prognosis of 6 months or less, and cannot be receiving active medical treatment. Hospice is considered part of the continuum of palliative care; it offers a quality care environment in the last segment of life.

Nursing initiatives

Nurses have taken a leadership role in developing guidelines for quality EOL care through national initiatives. Nationally recognized nursing experts, funded by the American Association of Colleges of Nursing (AACN) and the City of Hope, have developed the End-of-Life Nursing Education Consortium (ELNEC), a national education initiative to improve EOL care in the United States. The ELNEC project targets undergraduate and graduate nursing faculty, continuing education providers, staff development educators, and pediatric and oncology specialty nurses in EOL care (AACN, 2006). Specific EOL training allows nurses to teach others and to enter into the lives of many more people facing EOL as skilled, compassionate professionals with specialized care tools (Malloy, Paice, Virani, Ferrell, & Bednash, 2008).

Concepts of grief and grieving

The concept of grief describes the personal emotions and adaptive process a person goes through in recovering from loss. Common feelings include sadness and an acute awareness of the void accompanied by recurring, wavelike feelings of sadness and loss. Certain situations, time alone, holidays, and anniversaries allow grief feelings to resurface.

Case Example

“I would think I was doing okay, that I had a handle on my grief. Then without warning, a scent, a scene on television, an innocuous conversation would flip a switch in my mind, and I would be flooded with memories of my mother. My eyes would fill up with tears as my fragile composure dissolved. My grief lay right under the surface of my awareness and ambushed me at times and in places not of my choosing” (Anonymous).

Theory-based frameworks of grieving

Lindemann’s Work on Grief

Eric Lindemann (1944/1994) pioneered the concept of grief work based on interviews with bereaved persons suffering a sudden tragic loss. He described patterns of grief, and the physical and emotional changes that accompany significant losses. Lindemann observed that grief can occur immediately after a loss, or it can be delayed. He summarized three components of support: (a) open, empathetic communication; (b) honesty; and (c) tolerance of emotional expression as being important in grieving. When the symptoms of grief are exaggerated or absent, it is considered pathologic or complicated grief. People experiencing complicated grief may require psychological treatment to resolve their grief and move into life again.

Engel’s Contributions

George Engel’s (1964) concepts built on Lindemann’s work. He described three sequential phases of grief work: (a) shock and disbelief, (b) developing awareness, and (c) restitution.

In the shock and disbelief phase, a newly bereaved person may feel alienated or detached from normal—“literally numb with shock; no tears, no feelings, just absolute numbness” (Lendrum & Syme, 1992, pp. 24–25). Seeing or hearing the lost person, or sensing his or her presence is a normal, temporary altered sensory experience related to the loss, which should not be confused with psychotic hallucinations.

In the immediate aftermath of death, families and friends surround a person with support and opportunities to talk. This support diminishes over time. The developing awareness phase occurs slowly as the void created by the loss fully enters consciousness. There is a loss of energy, not the kind that requires sleep, but rather a desire to accomplish things without having either the organizational capacity or energy to follow through with related tasks.

Case Example

“Throughout the year following my mother’s death, I was aware of a persistent feeling of heaviness—not physical heaviness, but emotional and spiritual. It was as if a dark cloud hung over my heart and soul. I tired easily, with little energy to do anything but the most essential activities, and even those frequently received perfunctory attention. My usual pattern of ‘sleeping like a log’ was disrupted, and in its place I experienced uneasy rest that left me feeling as if I had never closed my eyes” (Anonymous).

Listening, identifying feelings, and having an empathetic willingness to repeatedly hear the client’s story without needing to give advice or interpretation are helpful nursing interventions (Jeffries, 2005).

The restitution phase is characterized by adaptation to a new life without the deceased. There is a resurgence of hope and a renewed energy to fashion a new life. With successful grieving, the loss is not forgotten, but the pain diminishes, and is replaced with memories that enrich and give energy to life. John Thomas (2010) describes his sense of new beginnings:

I want to be known as one who

• Has one foot planted firmly in this life and the other seeking a firm footing in the spiritual realm

• Is identified with life and love rather than loss and grief

• Walks with the stride of renewal rather than the shuffle of grief; a vigorous man with an appreciation for beauty and quality

• Is confident about the future without needing a tangible GPS

• Can still embrace life knowing that the pain of loss is intense

• Can be alone without being lonely

• Faced grief head-on and reached a deeper core of self and spirituality

• Has much to give in many arenas living a life that honors my past and sharing the blessing derived from it

Contemporary models of grieving

Florczak (2008) states, “The newer worldview considers loss to be a unique, intersubjective process in which the individual maintains connections with the absent and the meaning of the experience continually changes” (p. 8). The past is not forgotten, and there is a continuous spiritual connection with the deceased, which illuminates different features of self and possibilities for fuller engagement with life. Features of past experiences with the loved one are rewoven into the fabric of a person’s life in a new form. Contemporary authors Neimeyer (2001) and Attig (2001) emphasize meaning construction as a central issue in grief work.

Patterns of grieving

Acute grief

Acute grief occurs as “somatic distress that occurs in waves with feelings of tightness in the throat, shortness of breath, an empty feeling in the abdomen, a sense of heaviness and lack of muscular power, and intense mental pain” (Lindemann, 1994, p. 155). Sudden traumatic deaths are more likely to stimulate acute grief reactions.

When the death is untimely (as with an accident or fatal heart attack), out of normal sequence (as in the case of a child’s death), or complicated by stigma (as with death from addiction or suicide), the challenge for the family is greater. Survivors feel more guilt, anger, and helplessness.

Suicide survivors are at a disadvantage. Survivors typically overestimate their ability to influence the suicidal behavior or outcome. They are reluctant to discuss death details because of shame or perceived stigma. Survivors usually need more support. Often they get less because people don’t know how to talk to them about suicides (Harvard Women’s Health Watch, 2009). Suicide survivor support groups can offer the specialized help that many survivors need after a suicide (Felgelman, 2008).

Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief is an emotional response that occurs before the actual death around a family member with a degenerative or terminal disorder. It also is experienced by a person anticipating his or her own death. Symptoms can be similar to those experienced after death and can be colored by ambivalent feelings.

Case Example

Marge’s husband, Albert, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease 5 years ago. Albert is in a nursing home, unable to care for himself. Marge grieves the impending loss of Albert as her mate. At the same time, she would like a life of her own. Her “other feelings” of wishing it could all be over cause her to feel guilty. Exercise 8-2 helps you explore personal thoughts about grief.

EXERCISE 8-2   A Personal Grief Inventory

Purpose:

To provide a close examination of one’s history with grief.

Procedure:

Complete each sentence and reflect on your answers:

The first significant experience with grief that I can remember in my life was ___________.

The circumstances were ___________.

My age was ___________.

The feelings I had at the time were___________.

The thing I remember most about that experience was ___________.

I coped with the loss by ___________.

The primary sources of support during this period were ____________.

What helped most was _________________________.

The most difficult death for me to face would be ___________.

I know my grief over a loss is resolved when ___________.

Adapted from Carson VB, Arnold EN: Mental health nursing: the nurse-patient journey (p. 666), Philadelphia, 1996, WB Saunders.

Chronic Sorrow

Chronic sorrow is an ill-defined form of grief, occurring while a person is still alive, in relation to a limiting disease, or as an ongoing loss of potential in a loved one (Bowes, Lowes, Warner, & Gregory, 2009). It has been identified in parents of disabled or mentally ill children, spouses of dementia victims, and adults with a permanent disability or severe chronic illness.

Chronic sorrow is an intermittent grief process. In between, there are periods of emotional neutrality and positive emotions. It presents as a recurring sadness, particularly during exacerbations of symptoms, or comparisons with healthy people. Key distinctions between chronic sorrow and other forms of grieving include an inability to achieve closure and its discontinuous nature. Clients and family members may not be aware that they are grieving because they don’t recognize having an ongoing incomplete loss as a legitimate loss to be grieved (Lafond, 2002). Providing timely support for families when there is a resurgence of symptoms can reduce stress.

Complicated Grieving

Complicated grieving represents a form of grief, distinguished by being unusually intense, significantly longer in duration, or incapacitating. A history of depression, substance abuse, death of a parent or sibling during childhood, prolonged conflict or dependence on the deceased person, or a succession of deaths within a short period predispose a person to complicated grief. Statements such as “I never recovered from my son’s death,” or “I feel like my life ended when my husband died” may indicate the presence of complicated grief.

Symptoms can appear as an absence of grief in situations where it would be expected, for example, a marine who displays no emotion over the deaths of war comrades. When deaths and important losses are not mourned, the feelings don’t just disappear; they reappear in unexpected ways sometimes years later. Subsequent losses trigger an extreme reaction to a current loss. Complicated grief can result in clinical symptoms such as depression or anxiety disorders that require professional help. Exercise 8-3 provides a personal opportunity to reflect on the grieving process.

EXERCISE 8-3   Reflections on the Grieving Process

Purpose:

To provide students with an opportunity to see how putting into words the meaning a person had for you could facilitate the grieving process.

Procedure:

1. Write a letter to someone who has died or is no longer in your life. Before writing the letter, reflect on the meaning this person had for you and the person you have become.

2. In the letter, tell the person what they meant to you and why it is that you miss them.

3. Tell the person what you remember most about your relationship.

4. Tell the person anything you wished you had said but didn’t when the person was in your life.

With a partner, each student should share his or her story without interruption. When the student finishes his or her story, the listener can ask questions for further understanding.

Discussion:

1. What was it like to write a letter to someone who had meaning in your life and is no longer available to you?

2. Were there any common themes?

3. In what ways was each story unique?

4. How could you use this exercise in your care of clients who are grieving?

Developing an Evidence-Based Practice

Beckstrand R, Callister L, Kirchhoff K: Providing a “good death”: critical care nurses’ suggestions for improving end-of-life care, American Journal of Critical Care 15(1):38–45, 2006.

This survey study was part of a larger national study designed to elicit critical care nurses’ views (N = 861) of EOL care in intensive care units. The goal of this report, consistent with the Institute of Medicine’s recommendation to strengthen the knowledge base on EOL care, was to elicit suggestions on ways to improve EOL care.

Results: Study results indicated a common commitment of study subjects to helping clients achieve a good death, one marked with dignity and peace. Ways to achieve this goal were described as managing pain and discomfort, eliciting and following the clients’ wishes for EOL care, facilitating family presence at time of death, and communicating effectively with other members of the health care team. Barriers were identified as time constraints, staffing patterns, and treatment decisions that did not reflect the clients’ needs or wishes.

Application to Your Clinical Practice: As people live longer and the trajectory between time of diagnosis and time of death lengthens, palliative care becomes increasingly important. How could you, as a nurse, effectively help clients to die with dignity in a hospital setting? In a home setting?

Applications

Nursing roles in palliative care

Implementing palliative care concepts

Palliative care operates as a 24-hour resource, providing comprehensive, holistic services to clients and families in hospitals, people’s homes, nursing homes, and outpatient settings. Ideally, palliative services are integrated at all levels of care, and are adapted to a client’s specific cultural, social, and economic circumstances. Palliative care can be used concurrently with disease-modifying care, with the level of comfort care increasing according to client need (Savory & Marco, 2009).

The palliative care team is interdisciplinary, consisting of physicians, nurses, social workers, psychologists, and clergy specially trained in palliative care. In addition to supportive care for clients and families, team members provide education and consultation about EOL care for hospital staff. The treatment focus of palliative care is on pain control, physical symptom management, and easing the secondary psychosocial and spiritual distress experienced by clients with a terminal illness. If the client has had a special relationship with a physician, before admission to palliative care, the client or nurse can contact them. In some cases, the physician will stay involved; this can be a major source of comfort for clients and families.

Nurses play a pivotal role as professional coordinators, direct providers of care, and advocates for client autonomy and control in EOL care. They are in a key position to help families maintain family integrity, and to support their efforts in managing the process of living until death and in preparing for the death of their loved one. Quality indicators for EOL care are displayed in Figure 8-1.

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Figure 8-1 Model of curative and palliative care for progressive illness.

Nurses must be aware of their own EOL experiences, including attitudes, expectations, and feelings about death and the process of dying. Miller (2001) notes, “As you become more clear about who you are and why you do what you do, you will become more receptive to whomever you are with” (p. 23). Exercise 8-4 is designed to promote self-awareness.

EXERCISE 8-4   Self Awareness about Death: A Questionnaire

Purpose:

To explore students’ feelings about death.

Procedure:

Answer the following questions.

1. Who died in your first personal involvement with death?

a. Grandparent or great-grandparent

b. Parent

c. Brother or sister

d. Other family member

e. Friend or acquaintance

f. Stranger

g. Public figure

h. Animal

2. To the best of your memory, at what age were you first aware of death?

a. Younger than 3 years

b. 3–5 years

c. 5–10 years

d. 10 years or older

3. When you were a child, how was death talked about in your family?

a. Openly

b. With some sense of discomfort

c. Only when necessary, and then with an attempt to exclude the children

d. As though it were a taboo subject

e. Do not recall any discussion

4. Which of the following most influenced your present attitudes toward death?

a. Death of someone else

b. Specific reading

c. Religious upbringing

d. Introspection and meditation

e. Ritual (e.g., funerals)

f. Television, radio, or motion pictures

g. Longevity of my family

h. My health or physical condition

i. Other

5. How often do you think about your own death?

a. Very frequently (at least once a day)

b. Frequently

c. Occasionally

d. Rarely (no more than once a year)

e. Very rarely or never

6. What does death mean to you?

a. The end; the final process of life

b. The beginning of a life after death; a transition; a new beginning

c. A joining of the spirit with a universal cosmic consciousness

d. A kind of endless sleep; rest and peace

e. Termination of this life, but with survival of the spirit

f. Do not know

7. If you had a choice, what kind of death would you prefer?

a. Tragic, violent death

b. Sudden, but not violent death

c. Quiet, dignified death

d. Death in the line of duty

e. Death after a great achievement

f. Suicide

g. Homicide victim

h. There is no “appropriate” kind of death

8. If it were possible, would you want to know the exact date on which you are going to die?

a. Yes

b. No

9. If your physician knew that you had a terminal disease and a limited time to live, would you want him or her to tell you?

a. Yes

b. No

c. It would depend on the circumstances

10. What efforts do you believe ought to be made to keep a seriously ill person alive?

a. All possible efforts should be made (e.g., transplantation, kidney dialysis)

b. Efforts should be made that are reasonable for that person’s age, physical condition, mental condition, and pain

c. After reasonable care, a natural death should be permitted

d. A person with dementia should not be kept alive by artificial methods

11. If or when you are married, would you prefer to outlive your spouse?

a. Yes, I would prefer to die second and outlive my spouse

b. No, I would rather die first and have my spouse outlive me

c. Undecided or do not know

12. What effect has this questionnaire had on you?

a. It has made me somewhat anxious or upset

b. It has made me think about my own death

c. It has reminded me how fragile and precious life is

d. Other effects

Key issues and approaches in end-of-life care

Transparent decision making

Clients and families face difficult, irreversible decisions in the last phase of life. Decisions related to discontinuation of fluids, antibiotics, blood transfusions, and ventilator support require a clear understanding of a complex care situation. Thelan (2005) defines end-of-life decision making as “the process that healthcare providers, patients and patients’ families go through when considering what treatments will or will not be used to treat a life threatening illness” (p. 29).

EOL decisions should be transparent, meaning that all parties involved in the decision should fully understand the implications of their decision. For example, to make an informed decision about use of life supports for terminal clients, clients and families need to know whether further treatments will enhance or diminish quality of life, their potential impact on life expectancy, whether the treatment is known to be effective or is an investigative treatment, and what types of adverse effects the client is likely to experience.

When the client is fully competent, he or she should make all treatment decisions. Ideally, EOL care choices should be made before a life-threatening illness occurs, or as early as possible after diagnosis (Kirchhoff, 2002). The nurse’s role is to provide the client with full information, and to serve as his or her advocate in support of the person’s right to make decisions about treatment and care (ANA, 1991; Erlen, 2005). Box 8-2 provides guidelines for talking with families about care options at EOL when an advance directive or durable power of attorney is not in effect.

BOX 8-2   Talking with Families about Care Options at End of Life

If neither durable power of attorney nor written directive is in effect:

• Determine who should be approached to make the decisions about care options.

• Determine whether any key members are absent. (Try to keep those who know the client best in the center of decision making.)

• Find a quiet place to meet where each family member can be seated comfortably.

• Sit down and establish rapport with each person present. Ask about the relationship each person has with the client and how each person feels about the client’s current condition.

• Try to achieve a consensus about the patient’s clinical situation, especially prognosis.

• Provide a professional observation about the client’s status and expected quality of life—survival vs. quality of life. Ask what each person thinks the client would want.

• Should the family choose comfort measures only, assure the family of the attention to patient comfort and dignity that will occur.

• Seek verbal confirmation of understanding and agreement.

• Attention to the family’s emotional responses is appropriate and appreciated.

Adapted from Lang F, Quill T: Making decisions with families at the end of life, American Family Physician 70(4):720, 2004.

Using advance directives

Miscommunication is a common underlying theme in creating confusion and delaying appropriate decisions about EOL care (Lang & Quill, 2004). Preferences are best expressed in advance directives (see Chapter 2), with discussions taking place in a compassionate, gentle manner, paced at the client/family’s pace and level of understanding. Studies of family use of advance directives demonstrate significantly lower stress in families using them (Davis et al., 2005). In the hospital, advance directives should be kept in the front of the client’s chart.

Pain control and management

Pain control and management is an essential component of quality EOL care. Standards for pain management established by the Joint Commission (2010) require that every inpatient be routinely assessed for pain, with documentation of appropriate monitoring, and pain management. The American Pain Society (APS), Joint Commission, and Veteran’s Administration have identified pain as the fifth vital sign with a nursing expectation of pain evaluation together with the standard vital signs (temperature, pulse, respiration, and blood pressure).

Pain is a subjective assessment, assessed verbally with the client and/or observed in client behavior. Routine assessments can identify previously unreported incidences of pain symptoms (Morrison & Meier, 2004).

Assessment questions include:

• Onset and duration of pain

• Location of the pain

• Character of the pain (sharp, dull, burning, persistent, changes with movement, direct or referred pain)

• Intensity—using a 0 to 10 numerical rating scale, with 0 being no pain and 10 being unbearable pain; assess children and clients having limited English with the Wong–Baker FACES Pain Rating Scale (Figure 8-2).

image

Figure 8-2 Wong–Baker FACES Pain Rating Scale.

• History of substance dependence (crossover tolerance)

Behavioral indicators include abrupt changes in activity, crying, inability to be consoled, listlessness or unwillingness to move, rubbing a body part, wincing, or facial grimacing (Atkinson, Chesters, & Heinz, 2009).

Having appropriate pain control for moderate-to-severe pain usually requires the use of opioids. Misperceptions about pain-relieving opioids are a major, unnecessary barrier to adequate pain control. Families will attribute signs and symptoms of approaching death such as increased lethargy, confusion, and declining appetite to side effects of opioids. With or without pain medication, actively dying clients become less responsive as death approaches. Although clients may experience drowsiness with initial dosing, this side effect quickly disappears.

Nurses should educate the family and client about the differences between disease progression and adverse effects related to opioids (Pashby, 2010). Essential information includes action, dosing intervals, side effects, and role pain control in client comfort and quality of life.

A second unfortunate barrier is fear of addiction (Clary & Lawson, 2009). All clients, including addicts, are entitled to appropriate and adequate pain management of severe pain. People do not become addicted from taking legally prescribed opioid medications for pain associated with terminal illness. There is a fundamental difference between taking essential medication for pain control on a prescribed scheduled basis and addictive uses. Addicted clients may require larger doses of pain medication because of cross-tolerance. Once the family understands the mechanisms and goals of pain control, and is assured that the client will not die or become addicted from its appropriate use, most will support its use in EOL care.

Clients approaching death can experience “breakthrough” pain, which occurs episodically as severe pain spikes. When breakthrough pain occurs, rescue medications, which are faster acting, can be used. Touch and light massage are helpful adjuncts for pain relief.

Communication in end-of-life care

Curtis (2004) suggests that communication skill is equal to or supersedes clinical skill in EOL care. Everyone experiences a death differently; it is the uniqueness of each person’s experience that the nurse attempts to tap into and facilitate through conversation. Conversations with clients and families provide nurses with insights about personal values and preferences regarding EOL care, and provide a forum to answer difficult questions in a supportive environment.

The quality of the relationship between nurse, patient, and family members is a key factor in how the last phase of life is experienced and negotiated (Mok & Chiu, 2004; Olthuis et al., 2006). EOL interactions help people find meaning, achieve emotional closure, and provide the best means for helping clients and families make complex life decisions. Listening and responding to clients as they cope with difficult issues around dying is easier said than done (Larson & Tobin, 2000). The challenge for nurses is to remain in a relationship with clients and families even when one feels inadequate to the task.

Schim and Raspa (2007) believe that the process of dying is a narrative: “Life-altering happenings are expressed through stories” (p. 202). Personal reflections are critical sources of assessment data. Once rapport is established, Pashby (2010) suggests nurses can ask clients how they learned of their diagnosis. She notes that a terminal diagnosis is usually a “Technicolor Moment” that the person remembers vividly and appreciates talking about. Other questions such as “What has changed for you since the diagnosis?” or “What is it like for you now?” provide additional data. Giving voice to the experience helps clients to consider its personal meaning and provides the nurse with a more complete picture of each person’s distinctive concerns and goals.

Although most dying clients know that they are dying, it is not unusual for a client to ask in the course of conversation, “Am I going to die?” Before answering, find out more about the origin of the question. A useful listening response is, “What is your sense of it?” Box 8-3 provides guidelines for communicating with terminally ill clients.

BOX 8-3   Guidelines for Communicating with Dying Clients

• Avoid automatic responses and trite reassurances.

• Each death is a unique, deeply personal experience for the client and should be treated as such.

• Avoid destroying hope. Reframe hope to what can happen in the here and now.

• Let the client lead the discussion about the future. Be comfortable with focusing on the here and now. (This discussion is not a one-time event; openings for discussion should be encouraged as the client’s condition worsens.)

• Relate on a human level. Show humor, as well as sorrow.

• Use your mind, eyes, and ears to hear what is said, as well as what is not said.

• Respect the individual’s pattern of communication and ways of dealing with stress. Support the client’s desire for control of his or her life to whatever extent is possible.

• Maintain a sense of calm. Use eye contact, touch, and comfort measures to communicate.

• Do not force the client to talk. Respect the client’s need for privacy and be sensitive to the client’s readiness to talk, and let him or her know that you will be available to listen.

• Humility and honesty are essential. Be willing to admit when you do not know the answer.

• Be willing to allow the client to see some of your fears and vulnerabilities. It is much easier to open up to someone who is “human and vulnerable” than to someone who appears to have all the answers.

• Provide short, frequent times for family members to be with the dying client (without overtiring the client). Let them provide simple comfort measures if they desire to do so.

Morgan (2001) suggests using a basic social process between nurse and client in palliative care, which she labeled protective coping and adjustment. The process involves nursing interactions that protect, maintain, and safeguard the integrity of clients, whereas at the same time helping them to determine and act on actions that are in their own best interests.

Communicating with Families

Family members have different levels of readiness to engage in discussions about the dying process. It is “normal” for an impending death to have a different impact on each family member, because each has had a unique relationship with the dying person. Conversations with families need not be long in duration, but regularity is important. Box 8-4 identifies family communication needs at EOL.

BOX 8-4   Family Communication Needs at End of Life

• Honest and complete answers to questions; repetition and further explanation if needed

• Updates about the client’s condition and changes as they occur

• Clear, understandable explanations, delivered with empathy and respect

• Frequent opportunities to express concerns and feelings in a supportive, unhurried environment

• Information about what to expect—physical, emotional, spiritual—as death approaches

• Discussion of whom to call, legal issues, memorial or funeral planning

• Appreciation of the conflicts that families experience when the illness dictates that few options exist; for example, a frequent dilemma at EOL is whether life support measures are extending life or prolonging the dying phase.

• Short private times to be present and/or minister to the client

• Permission to leave the dying client for short periods with the knowledge that the nurse will contact the family member if there is a change in status

Common concerns include discontinuing life support; conflicts among family members about care; tensions between the client, family, and/or physician and family about treatment; where death should occur (home, hospital, hospice); if/when hospice should be engaged; and other concerns. Active listening can produce a creative outcome.

Case Example

The baby kind of started to dwindle real early in the morning. Mom was there by herself and all of a sudden wanted everything done … she was changing her mind. Once you started to talk to them further, and talk to the grandma, what her real problem was is that she didn’t want that baby to die while she was there by herself. She wanted her mom to be there … so that changed the whole story quite a bit. We were like, “Yeah, we can keep this baby going for an hour until your mom gets here” (Lee & Dupree, 2008, p. 988).

Creating Family Memories

Clients and families need to talk about things other than the disease process and treatments. Nurses can help make this happen. There are spiritual stories, cultural stories, funny stories, developmental stories, narratives of advocacy, and family stories. Each reinforces the bonds and affirms the depth of meaning a family holds with a dying person. The moments of laughter, foibles, and shared experiences are connections that need to be remembered.

Case Example

Evelyn was an 83-year-old woman diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. During a guided imagery exercise, the nurse asked her to recall a time when she felt relaxed and happy. Evelyn described in vivid detail being with her family at a picnic near a lake many years ago. When her family came to visit that night, Evelyn related the story again, and the entire family talked about their parts in the remembered event. How they all laughed, what fun they had! It was one of their last conversations; one that reinforced family bonds in the initial telling and later as her family remembered Evelyn after her death. Her adult daughter made a special point of letting the nurse know how important sharing this story was to the client and family.

Providing Information

Nurses are key informants about client status and changes in the client’s condition. There are fundamental differences in the level of information an individual or family will desire. The response of the client should determine the content and pace of sharing information. Talking with families about care details and potential outcomes should happen often, but even more frequently when the client’s health status begins to decline or show a change.

Ideally, one nurse serves as the primary contact for the client and family, and acts as a liaison between providers and clients. This nurse keeps other health team members informed of new issues, and shares their input into planning and evaluation of care with the family. Using precise language, giving full and truthful information about the client’s condition, and admitting to uncertainty, when it exists, are important dimensions of EOL information giving.

Family Conferences

Family conferences are effective tools to alleviate family anxiety about the dying process, reduce unnecessary conflict between family members, and assist family members with important decision-making processes. Principles related to EOL care, as presented in Box 8-5, offer guidelines for discussions. Gavrin (2007) notes, “the analog of informed consent is informed refusal” (p. S86). This concept becomes important to clients and families as a component of decision making related to withdrawing or withholding life support in EOL care. Although a physician commonly leads the discussion, nurses often present data and answer questions. Data sharing should be compassionate, accurate, and presented in language understandable to the family. Contradictory recommendations and incomplete information add to a family’s confusion and cause unnecessary distress (Wright, Wurr, Tomlinson, & Miller, 2009). A coordinated approach prevents fragmentary and inconsistent care.

BOX 8-5   Principles Guiding End-of-Life Care

• Discussions of medical futility with patients and family will be more effective if they include concrete information about treatment, its likelihood of success, and the implications of the intervention and nonintervention decisions.

• Effective decision making at the end of life can be improved with the use of advance directives and surrogate decision makers.

• Ethnic and cultural traditions and practices influence the use of advance directives and health care decision-making surrogates.

• Taking the time to explore the client’s perceptions about quality of life at the end of life is a core component of clinical assessment and is essential to ensuring optimal outcomes.

• The cost of failing to offer clients and families a full range of end-of-life care options, services, and settings is an incalculable toll in terms of quality of life and utilization of appropriate health care resources at the end of life.

Modified from Bookbinder M, Rutledge DN, Donaldson NE et al.: End-of-life care series: part I: principles, Online Journal of Clinical Innovations 4(4):1–30, 2001, by permission. © 2001, Cinahl Information Systems.

Curtis (2004) recommends that there be a higher ratio of family member–to–health care provider speaking time, and that there be follow-up communication using a consistent physician-nurse team approach. Helping clients and families understand the importance of advance directives and do not resuscitate (DNR) orders can prevent later conflicts when tensions arise near the time of death (Boyle, Miller, & Forbes-Thompson, 2005). Nurses are invaluable resources in clarifying meanings with clients or individual family members after the conference.

Addressing cultural and spiritual needs in end-of-life care

Cultural Differences

Different cultures have distinctive communication and care standards for clients with life-threatening conditions, some of which are identified in Box 8-6 (Searight & Gafford, 2005). Other distinctions include: (a) type of care that provides comfort to the dying person; (b) understanding of the causes of illness and death; (c) appropriate care of the body and burial rites; and (d) expression of grief responses (Doolen & York, 2007; LaVera et al., 2002).

BOX 8-6   Cross-Cultural Variations in End-of-Life Care

• Emphasis on autonomy vs. collectivism

• Attitudes toward advance directives

• Decisions making about life support, code status guidelines

• Preference for direct vs. indirect disclosure of information

• Individual vs. family-based decision making about treatment

• Disclosure of life-threatening diagnoses

• Provider’s choice of words in verbal exchanges

• Reliance on physician as the ultimate authority

• Specific rituals or practices performed at time of death

• Role of religion and spirituality in coping and afterlife

• Views about suffering

Adapted from Searight H, Gafford J: Cultural diversity at the end of life: issues and guidelines for family physicians, American Family Physician 71(3):515–522, 2005.

Asking clients/families directly about their cultural values and issues as a starting point helps ensure cultural safety for clients and families. A simple question such as “Can you tell me about how your family/culture/spiritual beliefs views serious illness or treatment?” provides a framework for discussion. When cultural differences are considered, it is important to avoid stereotyping, as each person’s interpretation of their culture is unique. Once cultural needs are identified, every effort should be taken to honor their meaning to clients and families by incorporating them in care.

Spiritual needs

Glass, Cluxton, and Rancour (2001) note, “The transition from life to death is as sacred as the transition experienced at birth” (p. 49). The dying process, grief, and death itself herald a spiritual crisis—a crisis of faith, hope, and meaning for many people. Spiritual pain occurs when a person’s sense of purpose is challenged or one’s existence is threatened (Millspaugh, 2005).

Case Example

As I was assessing her, she burst into tears and told me that she thinks “God is punishing her for something and that this is why she has cancer.” This was not the first time I heard this from a patient (LaPorte Matzo & Witt-Sherman, 2006, p. 1).

Spirituality becomes a priority for many people at EOL (Williams, 2006). It is not unusual for clients who have previously declined spiritual interventions to desire them as they move into the final phase of life. Spiritual beliefs and religious rituals provide a tangible vehicle for individuals and families to express and experience meaning and purpose. Religious practices and rituals relevant to EOL can be important to clients even if the person no longer formally practices the religion. Facilitating these practices touches the client’s inner core and helps the person move toward a peaceful death (Bryson, 2004).

Most people welcome an inquiry about their spiritual well-being (Morrison & Meier, 2004). People having a strong relationship with God and/or religious beliefs will usually indicate this connection. To elicit more information about its nature, an appropriate question is: “Is there anything I should know about your spiritual or religious views?” The answer can tell you what is important related to their current circumstances. Steinhauser et al. (2006) suggest that using the probe “Are you at peace?” is a useful way to ask the client about spiritual concerns without being intrusive. Nurses can ask the client and/or family if they would like a visit from an appropriate clergy or hospital chaplain, facilitate the initial contact if the answer is yes and provide essential information about the client’s condition and/or family concerns (Barclay & Lie, 2007).

Not all people attach their concept of spirituality to a particular belief system. Instead, they define their spirituality from an existential perspective. Attig (2001) describes this sense of spirituality as follows:

That within us that reaches beyond present circumstances, soars in extraordinary experiences, strives for excellence and a better life, struggles to overcome adversity, and searches for meaning and transcendent understanding. (p. 37)

When individuals frame their spirituality from an existential perspective, it is appropriate to explore spirituality sources in terms of meaningful relationships. Asking a question such as “Can you tell me about the relationship you had with someone whom you loved who has died?” helps start the conversation. A follow-up question relates to how the client feels about the person now. The value of this intervention is that it emphasizes that the person’s life held meaning for this other person. This line of questioning indirectly tells the person that they too will be remembered after death (Pashby, 2010).

People benefit from telling stories about how they view their life and validate its meaning. A life review helps people consider the deeper values and purpose of their lives, the experience of joy and sorrow. As one person stated, “I lived my life as best I could. I have no regrets.” A follow-up listening response to help the person put into words what he or she reflect on the meaning of a life well lived might be: “Tell me more about this.”

Whatever form spiritual distress takes, it is essential for the nurse to address it. Spiritual issues that trouble clients relate to forgiveness, unresolved guilt issues, expressions of love, saying good-bye to important people, and existential questions about the meaning of life, the hereafter, and concern for their family.

Clary and Lawson (2009) suggest that the EOL offers a final opportunity for people to experience spiritual growth. The most important intervention nurses can provide is to actively and respectfully listen to each client’s search for clarity about their spirituality with compassion and a desire to understand. Helping clients think through spiritual preferences and assisting them to identify resources that can give them strength, courage, purpose, and encouragement to cope with their situation is highly valued. Providing explicit attention to inclusion of appropriate spiritual advisors, prayer, and scripture reading can be helpful to faith-based clients and families coping with a terminal condition.

Nurses need to take an honest look at their own spirituality. Self-awareness allows nurses to enter their client’s spiritual world from an authentic position, without imposing personal values and beliefs. Exercise 8-5 is designed to help nurses understand the value of reflecting on a purposeful life.

EXERCISE 8-5   Blueprint for My Life Story

Purpose:

To view life as a whole, integrated process.

Procedure:

This is a two-part exercise. First, make a single life line across a blank sheet of paper, beginning with your birth. Identify the significant events in your life and then insert on your worksheet the age that you were when the event or moment occurred. When you are finished, answer the following questions:

Childhood

1. What was your happiest time as a child?

2. What were your saddest times?

3. What did you hope to become when you grew up?

4. Who were your companions as a child?

5. How did you view your mother? Your father? Your grandparents?

6. How did you feel about your home? Your neighborhood?

7. As a child, who was your most important relationship with?

8. Were boys and girls treated alike in school? In the family?

9. Where was your favorite space?

10. Where did you live as a child?

Adolescence

1. What subjects did you like best in school?

2. How and when did you get your first job?

3. Who were your companions as an adolescent, and what did you do with them?

4. Who was your first girlfriend or boyfriend?

5. Who had the most significant influence on you as an adolescent? In what ways?

6. What was most important to you as an adolescent?

Adulthood

1. What was the best job you ever had? The worst?

2. If you could choose your career again, what would you choose?

3. If you could relive any part of your life, what would it be?

4. What parts of your life are you particularly proud of?

5. Look back over your life. When were you happiest? Saddest?

6. What have you learned about life from the process of living?

7. What was the most exciting part of your life?

8. Who has influenced your life most as an adult?

9. If you could make three wishes, what would they be?

Record your answers in whatever way seems most appropriate to you. Spend some time thinking about the events you have identified on your lifeline and the answers you have provided in the narrative. Reflect on your life as a whole, with you as the primary actor, producer, and director. Think about ways in which you could write the remaining chapters of your life so they have special meaning for you.

Discussion:

In the larger group, discuss your lifeline.

1. In what ways were you surprised or comforted by the events that emerged from your lifeline?

2. As you contrast your lifeline with those of your classmates, do common themes emerge?

3. How could you use common themes as the basis for discussion with clients?

Supportive strategies for children

When a child is diagnosed with a terminal illness or condition, the effect on parents is devastating and can last a lifetime. It can influence role functioning, friendships, and treatment of siblings (Hinds, Schum, Baker, & Wolfe, 2005). Children are such an integral part of their parent’s identity that issues of parental protectiveness, guilt, caregiving, balancing family demands, and helplessness must be addressed in the course of providing direct care for the child. When caring for children, there are always two clients to consider: the parent(s) and the child.

Parents are the major anchoring force for most children, so supporting them as primary caregivers for their child is important. They need to be recognized as the expert and primary advocate for their child. Some may not feel they are up to the task, but with appropriate support surprise themselves. Critical to parent satisfaction is knowledge that everything possible was done for their child; that they received accurate, timely information and support; and that preventable suffering was not permitted.

Parents often maintain hope for the child’s survival even with a terminal diagnosis. This is because of a belief that it is not the natural order of things for a child to die, and because terminal symptom profiles for children are less predictable. Nurses can help identify situations in which there is a mismatch between a child’s condition and a parent’s understanding of that condition (Field & Behrman, 2002). They can help decrease parental anxiety by explaining changes in the child’s appearance, and observing signs of distress in parents and siblings related to the child’s progressive deterioration. If the child or family requires additional counseling to reduce stress, nurses can make appropriate referrals. Table 8-2 identifies common goals and provides examples of supportive care for children.

TABLE 8-2

Common Goals and Examples of Supportive Care for Children

image

From Field M, Behrman R: When children die: improving palliative and end of life care for children and their families (p. 128). Washington DC, 2002, National Academies Press.

Talking with children about death

Developmental level is a key factor in the child’s attitude toward death. A child younger than 5 years has no clear concept of what death means. As a child matures, the finality of death becomes more real. Death is difficult for children because they don’t have the cognitive development and life experiences to process them completely. Until children reach the formal operations stage of cognitive development, they can have fantasies about the circumstances surrounding the death, and their part in it.

Children don’t express their grief in the same way as adults. Acting out, anger, fear, and crying are common responses, which appear spontaneously. One minute the child may be playing, the next he or she is angry or withdrawn. Preschoolers may repeatedly ask when someone close to them will be coming home even if parents tell them the person has died. Developmentally, they don’t understand the permanence of death. Elementary school children accept the permanence of death, but view it in a concrete manner. Adolescents are aware of death as a final act.

Case Example

A short time after 5-year-old Aidan’s grandfather died, he asked his grandmother where his grandfather had gone. His grandmother told him that grandpa had died, and was in heaven, to which Aidan said, “Oh no, grandma, he’s in that brown box in the ground.”

Regardless of age, parents can help their children understand the impending death or loss of a relative by explaining in a concrete, direct way what has happened, using clear, concrete language suitable to the child’s developmental level. Children should be encouraged to talk about changes in the health of a parent or the impending death of a central person in their lives. Questions should be answered directly and honestly at the child’s developmental level of comprehension. Check in with the child to find out how the child is coping at regular intervals.

The National Cancer Institute (2010) identifies three key concerns of children:

1. Did I cause the death to happen?

2. Is it going to happen to me?

3. Who is going to take care of me?

Parents can anticipate that these will be issues for children, and create opportunities for children to ask these questions. For example, if a child around the same age or a sibling dies, a child may be fearful that something similar will happen to him or her. Maintaining daily routines in the child’s life after the death of a parent or primary caregiver is critical. Children need to know that they are safe and will be taken care of by the remaining adults in their life. If changes are needed, children should have ample time to make the adjustment rather than have a sudden move thrust on them without discussion. Children need physical contact, reassurance, and relevant discussions about the person who has died. If parents are unable to provide the level of communication a child needs, nurses can help them with appropriate referrals.

Sometimes a family will want to exclude young children from contact with or knowledge about a person who is likely to die soon. Usually children are aware of what is happening (Loomis, 2009). Encouraging family members to talk with children about changes in their relative’s condition using clear, simple terms and allowing them to express their feelings freely is important. Drawing a picture or sending a note can be a useful way for the child to connect with a critically ill relative, if direct contact is not advised. With preparation, adolescents can benefit from being allowed to visit with the client.

Case Example

Brendan and his grandfather had a close relationship. Earlier in life, they would stroke each other’s thumbs as part of a “special handshake.” Now, at 15, his grandfather was close to death and unresponsive. As Brendan sat next to him, stroking his thumb in the remembered way, he felt sure that his grandfather had squeezed his hand more than once. This was a meaningful connection for Brendan.

Helping clients achieve a good death

The Institute of Medicine (1997) defines a good death as “one that is free from unavoidable distress and suffering for patients, families and caregivers; in general accord with patients’ and families’ wishes; and reasonably consistent with clinical, cultural, and ethical standards” (p. 82). Death is a deeply personal experience. In a study of what constitutes a good death from the perspective of families, clients, and professionals, Steinhauser et al. (2000) identified six elements:

• Pain and symptom relief

• Transparent decision making

• Preparation for what to expect

• Achieving a sense of completion

• Contributing to others

• Receiving affirmation as a whole person

Maintaining a sense of control over what happens during the dying process and who is present at the end, having access to spiritual, emotional, and knowledgeable supports and being afforded hope, dignity, and privacy are also client/family values associated with a good death (Côté & Peplar, 2005; Kirchhoff, 2002; Smith, 2000). Exercise 8-6 provides you with the opportunity to personally think about what constitutes a good death.

EXERCISE 8-6   What Makes for a Good Death

Purpose:

To help students focus on defining the characteristics of a good death.

Procedure:

1. In pairs or small groups, think about, write down, and then share briefly examples of a “good” and a “not-so-good” death that you have witnessed in your personal life or clinical setting.

2. What were the elements that you thought contributed to its being a “good” or “not-so-good” death?

Discussion:

Were there any common themes found in the stories as to what constitutes a “good” death? How could you use the findings of this exercise in helping clients achieve a “good” death?

Signs of approaching death

As death approaches, there are subtle but significant changes in a person’s behavior. With some people, changes are progressive and swift. With others, there is gradual downward spiral. Common symptoms include long periods of sleeping or coma, decreased urinary output, changes in vital signs, disorientation, restlessness and agitation, severe dyspnea (breathlessness), skin temperature, and color. Dying clients experience profound weakness such that they cannot independently complete even basic hygiene.

The process of watching someone die is frightening to families. Family members feel increasingly helpless in being able to properly meet client needs. They need anticipatory guidance about what to expect and concrete suggestions about ways to connect with their loved one. The American Cancer Society Web site offers an excellent description of typical changes in the client when death is near and a clear outline of what caregivers can do to provide comfort to the client. The Internet is an invaluable resource for general information and for family-to-family support. Recommended sites should be carefully screened for accuracy and appropriateness.

Direct comfort care is essential. Practical suggestions for care and availability are critical components of care as clients approach death. Nurses can recommend simple care measures such as positioning, mouth and hygiene care, and so forth, to support family member efforts. They can provide immediate assessment data and explain its meaning. Nurses can encourage out-of-town family to visit, refer caregivers to support groups, and offer resource referrals for respite care. Most important, they can listen.

A common concern is the client’s loss of appetite and interest in food. Most stop eating. Explaining that this is a natural process that occurs as the body begins to shut down in preparation for death helps with family understanding (Reid, McKenna, Fitsimons, & McCance, 2009). As death approaches, clients become increasingly unresponsive to voice and stimulus. Because hearing is the last sense to go, talking with the dying person in a soft voice, playing calming music, and using gentle touch can soothe the client in a meaningful way.

Creating a care environment in which the dying person feels valued, comforted, and treated as a unique individual (Volker & Limerick, 2007) is vital, even when the client is no longer cognizant of what is happening. Flexibility in allowing family and/or significant others open access to the client, while taking care that the visits are not taxing for the client, reduces family anxiety and can be comforting for all concerned. As clients weaken, they typically want to engage with fewer family and friends. Nurses can act as gatekeepers in helping clients balance their own needs for relationship with the needs of others, and helping everyone concerned to engage with each other in a meaningful way.

Communication strategies

Presence is an important form of communication with dying clients and families. Casarett, Kutner, and Abrahm (2001) assert that simply by being with a family and bearing witness to the family’s expression of grief, health care providers provide important emotional and practical support.

Case Example

“I remember standing next to my mom’s bed. We had gone to her room to pay our last respects. A young nurse stood near to me and reached out gently and touched my shoulder. Softly she said, ‘I’ll just stay here with you in case you need something.’ When I looked at her I saw eyes brimming with tears and a profound sadness on her face. Her presence meant so much; I was grateful for her open expression of sorrow. It confirmed the pain we were all experiencing” (Anonymous).

Most families find it difficult to leave a dying client, even for a short period. Assuring family members that the nurse will check on the client frequently, and will call the family immediately if change occurs, gives families permission to take a brief respite from the client.

Caring of the client after death

Respect for the dignity of the client continues after death. If the family is present at time of death, allowing uninterrupted private time with the client, before initiating postmortem care is important. If the family is not present, all excess equipment and trash should be removed from the room. You can offer presence and emotional support as you escort the family into the room. Some families will want privacy; others will appreciate having the presence of the nurse or chaplain. Family preference should be honored.

If the family is not immediately present, the client’s belongings should be placed in a bag and given to the family after the visitation. Provide soft lighting, chairs for the family, and tissues. The client’s head should be elevated at a 30-degree angle, in a natural position. Hair should be combed, exposed body parts cleaned, and dentures replaced, if possible. The tone of the room and the positioning of the client should “give a sense of peace for the family” (Marthaler, 2005, p. 217). It is important for the nurse to allow the family as much time as they need with the client. The nurse can obtain signatures to release the client to the funeral home after the family has spent some time with the client.

Nurses can offer healing presence for the family after death.

Case Example

“A nurse washes the body of a stillborn child, then wraps and brings the baby to the mother and father. She models for them the naturalness of holding their child as they say their goodbyes. She stays close for a while, then she recedes, allowing their privacy. Later she is quietly available as parents make plans for what they will do next. That is healing presence” (Miller, 2001, p. 11).

Stress issues for nurses in palliative care settings

Nurses deeply invest themselves in the care and comfort of clients and families facing death, and can experience grief when the client dies. Disenfranchised grieving is a term applied to the grief nurses can experience after the death of a client with whom they have had an important relationship (Brosche, 2007; Rushton et al., 2006). Unacknowledged grieving in professional nurses can be cumulative. Unlike their clients, who live through one loss at a time, nurses can experience several losses a week while caring for terminally ill clients and their families (Brunelli, 2005).

Nurses can experience compassion fatigue, a syndrome associated with serious spiritual, physical, and emotional depletion related to caring for clients that can affect the nurse’s ability to care for other clients (Worley, 2005). Unrelieved compassion fatigue can result in burnout and a nurse’s decision to leave nursing.

Case Example

Barbara was a new graduate, selected as a nursing intern on a research oncology unit, providing care for seriously ill pediatric oncology clients. She had a degree in another field and an excellent job, but always wanted to pursue nursing. Her original preceptor left the hospital and was replaced by an efficient nurse without much empathy. The stress of weekly deaths, severe symptomatology, and lack of empathetic support led Barbara to leave nursing entirely after less than a year. She returned to her former position.

Another source of stress is the moral distress associated with helping clients and families resolve conflicts about EOL care (Rushton et al., 2006). For example, the use of technology and life support, and use of phase I or II clinical trial drugs with terminally ill clients can create significant ethical dilemmas for nurses caring for these clients. Support groups in which nurses can successfully address and resolve the secondary stress of continuously caring for terminally ill clients and some of the ethical issues involved with that care are helpful to nurses.

Summary

This chapter describes the stages of death and dying, and theory frameworks of Eric Lindeman and George Engel for understanding grief and grieving. Palliative care is discussed as a philosophy of care and an emerging discipline focused on making EOL care a quality life experience. A good death is defined as a peaceful death experienced with dignity and respect; one that wholly honors the client’s values and wishes at the EOL. Nurses can offer compassionate communication, presence, and anticipatory guidance to ease the grief of loss. Seven domains of quality indicators for palliative and EOL care are identified as pain and symptom control, transparent decision making, communication, emotional and practical support, spiritual support, and continuity of care.

Nursing strategies are designed to help clients cope with the secondary psychological and spiritual aspects of having a terminal illness such that they achieve the best quality of life in the time left to them. Talking with clients about advance directives is a professional responsibility of the nurse, and it reduces unnecessary conflict among family members at this critical time in a person’s life.

Talking with children about terminal illness and death in a relative, or in coping with a terminal diagnosis themselves should take into consideration the child’s developmental level. Questions should be answered honestly and empathetically. Nurses can help families understand the behavioral changes signaling the body’s natural shutdown of systems as death approaches. Providing support for clinicians is considered a quality indicator in EOL care. When not addressed, the disenfranchised grief that nurses experience with providing EOL care to multiple clients can lead to compassion fatigue, burnout, and moral distress.

Ethical Dilemma

What Would You Do?

Francis Dillon has been on a ventilator for the past 3 weeks. Although there is virtually no chance of recovery, his family is reluctant to take him off the ventilator. What do you see as the ethical issues, and how would you, as the nurse, address this problem from an ethical perspective?

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